My typical Day With a 11-week-old

My baby turns 11 weeks old tomorrow. For those who don't have children or are not pregnant, once you do/are the world forever is counted in weeks.

I realize I haven't posted in a while and that is entirely because of said 11-week-old infant. Every day is a little different and we haven't quite gotten on a schedule with her yet. I have also found out that some babies are strictly regimented by their parents from birth while others, like mine, have a basic order of operations for the day that has no concrete timing.

My usual day starts at 7am with her first feed, followed by 30 minutes of awake time before she is down again for a nap. During that awake time I try to drink a cup of coffee to rid myself of the drowsy after-effects of getting little sleep the night before.There also may or may not be a massive poopy diaper at this time, but my husband handles that. He also makes breakfast which is fantastic...after all, I am providing breakfast for our baby.

After her early morning feed I try and compose an idea of what the day ahead will hold. I find out what my hard-working husband has in store for the day and add up the total number of hours I will be home alone with Lyla. I figure most of that will be feeding, changing and napping...but I also try and fit in some tummy time (which she and I both hate doing) and some time to play. Playing at this age just really means talking to her and dangling toys in front of her face. During her naps I try to get some house-work done and watch some t.v.

The real struggle comes once 4pm hits. It's called the witching hour because your sweet predictable baby turns into Satan and is hell-bent on destroying your will to live. Lyla hasn't had a bad witching hour for almost two weeks...until last night. Beginning at 4pm she cried until 9pm. She didn't cry non-stop but she cried consistantly and nothing I did could make her stop. I rocked her, I walked with her, I put her in her swing which only made her cry harder. The few moments I got her to fall asleep she would instantly wake up if her binkie fell and start screaming bloody murder. Of course at 9pm when my husband walked through the door she was finally asleep, on me, and looked like an angel. I could've hung myself right then and there.

The whole day ends with me trying to create a bed time routine of feed, swaddle, and down in her basinet with white noise. This has worked so far and she seems to understand it is night time. How long she sleeps and how many times she wakes up at night is still kind of a crap chute. Typically, however, she eats between 9-11pm and wakes up around 2am, and 6am...this varies by two hours on either direction, some nights are better than others.

And then I wake up and do it all over again. One day I will put on jeans and makeup and have full days of activities with a happy baby that sleeps through the night. But today is not that day my friends. Today...and all the days that have come before it are about survival. Today is the day to be in my pajamas until 2pm when I change into spandex to "get dressed". Today is the day to have my tits on tap and available at a moments notice. Today is the day to be covered in breastmilk and get nothing accomplished except writing a blog post.

XOXO

Lisa

What No One Told Me

I have a few moments of quiet before Lyla wakes up, so I figured I would try and get something posted. I've been wanting to write this post for a few weeks now because I was completely blindsided by the whole postpartum process.

So here it is...The Things NO ONE tells you:

1. Labor Isn't A Big Deal
I was pretty surprised by this and explained it in more detail in my last post, but I psyched myself out for weeks before Lyla was born and for no good reason. I understand not everyone's experience is the same but my labor experience was extremely positive, thanks in large part to an awesome staff, chilled out music, and drugs. P.S. Get the epidural!!!

2. Post Labor is Way Worse Than Labor (contractions)
Everyone tells you about their labor story...no one talks about post-labor. It took me hours to regain the use of my legs after the epidural wore off and once I could move I felt like a hobbled invalid. All of my muscles hurt from all the intense pushing I had just done and I couldn't stand up straight for about a day. Also, as soon as you start breastfeeding, which is pretty much immediately, you experience the worst contractions you have ever felt. It was ten times worse than any pain I had felt during labor.

3. The Epidural
I had no idea what an epidural really was...sounds dumb right? well in case y'all are like me and think it is just a shot in the back, let me educate you. An epidural is actually a catheter (tube) that is inserted into your spine and pumps medicine continuously into your nervous system.

4. Postpartum Emotional Mind-Fuck
If you have a medicated birth like I did, be prepared for the after effects. You know that feeling when you come down from a three-night alcohol and drug fueled bender? That empty, delirious feeling you have when you watch the sun come up on a Sunday morning and realize you haven't eaten or slept for way longer than is medically recommended? Sure you do...we've all been there at least once. Well..that's precisely how I felt the night after giving birth. When they took Lyla to the nursery and we were trying to get some much-needed sleep, I all of a sudden felt emotionally drained; devoid of all those new-mom love fuzzies I was supposed to be feeling. I became paranoid that I was never going to bond with my baby and that I was slipping into PPD. Of course I wasn't, but it hadn't occurred to me just how many powerful drugs I had been on for the last 12 hours and what coming down from them would feel like. Once I got some sleep and woke up to the cries of my new baby the next morning, all was right again, but I wish I had known what to expect there.

4. Postpartum Bleeding
Nothing can really prepare you for the amount of blood that will be coming out of your vagina for the foreseeable future. Be sure to stock up (and I mean STOCK UP) on maxi pads and granny panties - if unlike me you don't already own several pairs. I had heard that you bleed postpartum. I had even heard that you need pads on hand. What I wasn't prepared for is the giant ball sized clots of blood that will make their way out of your crotch unexpectedly, or that I would feel a gush of liquid every time I stood up. I also was unprepared to bleed consistently for a month....it makes your period look like a breeze!

5. Breastfeeding Is Hard!
I have had a love/hate (but mostly hate) relationship with breastfeeding from the beginning. I am lucky to have not had any problems with supply, and my baby is more than happy to eat exclusively from my massive tatas. However, I'm just going to say it: it fucking sucks. Breastfeeding has to be the biggest bait and switch of the whole baby experience. You expect it to be uncomfortable but the level of pain you experience just trying to feed your child is unparalleled and seems pretty unnatural. I mean, why would it be so damn painful and difficult if this is the way nature intended you to feed your child?! It makes no sense and I wasn't prepared. There were MANY nights in the early weeks where I would almost be brought to tears by the sensation of her little toothless mouth sucking away on my nipple. My toes would curl and I would cry to my husband that there HAS to be a better way. I felt like quitting a lot, but I knew that wasn't an option for me. I had made the decision to breastfeed my baby as long as I physically could and since my milk was producing fine, I had to literally bear the pain until it got easier. The upside? It DOES get easier. Around the 3rd or 4th week it slowly started to get better and now 5 weeks postpartum I don't need to use a nipple shield and it barely hurts anymore.

6. Night Sweats
Now this is one thing I never even heard about before. Every time I fell asleep I woke up in a puddle of sweat. Drenched. Every. Single. Time. Even while napping. I came to find out that this is entirely normal and that it can last for months after giving birth. So not only are you covered in breast milk (from spraying yourself or from being spit up on) but you also sweat like an Olympic wrestler on steroids. Be prepared to change your sheets and your pajamas often.

7. There Is No Normal
So stop asking. The only answer I ever got about my pregnancy, labor, postpartum recovery and newborn care is that "everyone is different" or "every baby is different". You will get through it all the best you can but no one can tell you what to expect or what your experience will be. Some women have really rough pregnancies, with morning sickness the entire time and horrific pain and some women never get nauseous at all. Some women have a baby bump and 15 extra pounds on them in the first trimester and some start showing a month before they give birth. Some babies sleep through the night from birth and others scream bloody murder until they're two years old. It's all relative, it's all an extreme crap shoot so prepare for the worst and hope for the best and you'll most likely fall somewhere in the middle.

So that's my two cents. That is what I have learned as a first-time mom and I keep learning every day. It should be a sign of things to come that I started this post 2 weeks after Lyla was born and I am just now finishing it 5 weeks post birth. There is no more "down time". The house is a mess, I'm exhausted and this will be my big activity for the day....and it's time to feed her again :-)

XOXO

Lisa

She's Here!! my labor story

It turns out that all that false labor I was experiencing wasn't so useless after all! Lyla June Pontius was born on Friday November 14th, 2014 at 3:05pm and was exactly 8 days early at 38 weeks 6 days.

Matt and I went to bed around 11pm. I had been having trouble sleeping with all the pain and discomfort I had been feeling so I took an ambien to sleep. Matt took one too. I immediately fell asleep and Matt fought the slumber by playing on his Ipad. At 12:30pm I woke up from sleeping because I felt like I was leaking fluid. I turned to Matt and said "I think my water just broke". Considering that we had just been turned away from the hospital that Monday I wanted to be 100% sure before we left for the hospital again. So I put a pad in my underwear and got back in bed. Well, they told us in our prenatal class that it's your water breaking if it soaks a pad in less than an hour and after about 20 minutes and a few more gushes of liquid I was pretty certain this was the real deal. It's called a slow leak when your water breaks higher up in the amniotic sac and leaks out over a period of time (as opposed to the movie version where there is an eruption that comes at once). Anyway, we packed up our gear, which had conveniently been packed for our fake-out trip in Monday and called the doctor who told us to come in right away. Well, we had learned our lesson about rushing off to the hospital so Matt jumped in the shower  to wake himself out of the ambien haze and I got ready (did my makeup, packed my toiletries and got dressed). We then made a peanut butter banana protein smoothie and calmly left for the hospital, still a little skeptical that this was the real thing.

We got to the hospital around 2am and I was immediately checked by the nurse. They tested my cervix for amniotic fluid to make sure I had really broken my water. Well...I had! it was the real deal and we weren't leaving the hospital without a baby. At 3am they started me on Pitocin through my IV becuse my water breaking hadn't started contractions. in less than 30min contractions started and I was surprised that they didn't hurt as bad as they had on Monday (when I technically wasn't in labor). They checked my cervix and I was 3cm so we had a while to wait and they suggested I get some sleep and let them know when I was ready for pain meds. The epidural was still my biggest fear so I wanted to hold off as long as I could. I made a point to use the bathroom in those early morning hours, even managing to poop which was a huge coup because I was also worried about taking a huge dump with five people watching and my legs in the air.

So Matt and I drifted between sleep and awake until 7am when the staff switched over and the new doctor on call came to see us. we were told it could take all day so dilate fully so we were pretty much left on our own for most of the morning, listening to reggae and talking to family. Around 10:30/11am I was offered some IV pain meds that the nurse described as "like drinking a bottle of wine, you will still feel the contractions but you wont care". That sounded right up my alley so off I went to La-La-Land. In all honesty I hated whatever they gave me. There should be a street name for what it was. I felt like I was having a serious acid trip: I was out of touch with reality, I was trying really hard to stay conscious and I had this panic that I was going to forget to breathe and die. My mom got to the hospital around noon when I was 5cm dilated and right when the acid trip was subsiding and I was coming back to reality. I decided now was my moment to get the epidural...I was still kind of out of it from the pain meds and so  didn't feel a thing when they hooked me up to the epidural.

My biggest surprise during this whole labor experience was how happy and calm I was through the whole thing. I felt so at peace the whole day, it was truly an wonderful experience. I owe a lot of that to feeling no pain.

Around 2pm they checked me again and I was 8-9cm. Everyone was pretty shocked because I had progressed really quickly. The doctor said that I would be holding my baby by 3:30pm. She was right!! I got to 10cm really fast and then it was push time. I couldn't feel a thing below my belly button so they put my legs on stirrups and my mom took a leg and Matt took a leg and 7 contractions and about 15 minutes later out she came! The doctor was floored! A first pregnancy usually takes a lot longer, especially the pushing time. Pushing was hard, but I just gave it all I had during the contractions and thankfully she was a small baby.

So at 3:05pm Lyla June Pontius was born. 6lbs 12oz, 19.5" long.

The whole thing took 12 hours and was filled with calm, chill, happy vibes and I felt no pain. I couldn't have asked for a more positive experience.

38 Weeks: False Labor

This week has been crazy, crazy, crazy. On Monday we went to the doctor for an appointment and I got my membranes sweeped. This is a procedure that helps "ripen" the cervix for labor. Pretty much it can help jump start labor or at least it can help move your cervix along so you go into labor naturally on your own. The doctor checked my cervix and then while she was all up in there, she stuck her fingers through my cervix and separated the amniotic sack from the uterus. Well needless to say, this got things going. It was mildly painful, more uncomfortable than anything but it only lasted a few seconds.

Later in the day I felt very crampy and around 7pm that ended up turning into real contractions. At first they were erratic and I wasn't really sure if they were contractions or what was going on. They felt different than anything I have ever experienced. They continued to get more steady and more and more obvious. They came on like waves, my blood pressure would rise and then i could feel them building in my back/butt and wrapping around my lower abdomen. Once they got to be 5-7 minutes apart for 40-60secs each we called the doctor. We sat at home with me having contractions for a long time. I was certain I was in labor, but alas, I was wrong. Around 2am they trickled out and I went to bed. Since then I have been feeling random contractions very far apart and some mild cramps. Searching the internet has told me this is completely normal after a membrane sweep and I could potentially feel this way for the rest of the time I'm pregnant.

How Far Along: 38 weeks, 4 days

How Long To Go: 1 weeks, 3 days

Weight Gain: .8lbs
Total Weight Gain: 21lbs
Weight: 141lbs

Belly Button: Total outie

Stretch Marks: none

Sleep: Finally started using one of those pregnancy pillows (Matt calls it my candy cane) and I don't know why I waited so long

Best Moment This Week: Hanging with Nicole and Mason!! Dinner at a favorite restaurant with our friends Allison and Morgan Hurley and a girls lunch earlier in the week

Nausea: A little bit randomly

Craving: Sleep

Miss Anything: Don't even remember what its like not being pregnant. I miss that.

Movement: A little decreased movement, but still an active baby.

Gender: bouncing baby girl

Symptoms: False labor contractions!!!

Wedding Ring: Off for the most part

Looking Forward To: Having this freakin baby!!!

Maternity Clothes: Lucky if I put on clothes at this point

Fruit: Swiss Chard (6.5lb, 19-22 inches)

Weird Dreams This Week: Don't remember


XOXO
Lisa

37 Weeks

 

How Far Along: 37 weeks, 2 days

How Long To Go: 2 weeks, 5 days

Weight Gain: 3.4lbs
Total Weight Gain: 20.4lbs
Weight: 140.2lbs

Belly Button: Total outie

Stretch Marks: none

Sleep: The extra weight of my baby is making staying in one position difficult so I toss and turn all night.

Best Moment This Week: finding out that my body is preparing to have this baby. Nothing makes the light at the end of the tunnel seem a little closer than finding out you could have the baby at any time from here on out

Nausea: None at all

Craving: Halloween candy! and unfortunately, its around.

Miss Anything: being comfortable

Movement: She wiggles more than kicks. Lots of dragging of body parts. She's probably pretty cramped at this point.

Gender: bouncing baby girl

Symptoms: Lots of Braxton Hicks contractions...like almost every night, and tons of back pain. My feet are too small for this extra weight, they hurt so bad!

Wedding Ring: Off for the most part. Mostly because I wake up with a little swelling and forget to put it on in the morning.

Looking Forward To: Nicole and Mason are coming to visit on Wednesday night and staying for two nights!! Nicole and I made fast friends during my best friend Katie's wedding. Nicole is her cousin and was her maid of honor and I love her. We are gunna pal around downtown for the day on Thursday, for as long as my pregnant body can handle it. I'm also really excited to get some wise mama advice from her right before this baby comes.

Maternity Clothes: So happy it is spandex season!!!!!

Fruit: Winter Melon (6.5lb, 19-22 inches)

Weird Dreams This Week: Had a dream that my mucus plug came out when i went to the bathroom during a dinner party with the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.


P.S. I just came back from the doctor and I am already 2cm dilated and 50% effaced and my mucus plug is gone. Doc said to make sure the car seat is installed (it isn't) and my hospital bags are packed (mostly there)

XOXO
Lisa

36 Week Doctors Appointment

On Tuesday I went to the doctor for my 36 week appointment. This marks the start of weekly doctors appointments, so every Monday I've got to get weighed, measured and poked. I mention the poking because this also starts the weekly cervical checks. I had been hearing about these from the women on my What To Expect App and from their accounts, these things sucked. Some women complained of extreme pain and bleeding afterwards, and others said that it caused them to get Braxton Hicks contractions for the rest of the day. No bueno!

BUT....I was still really excited for the cervical check up because it would tell me if my body and baby had begun to prepare for birth. I am happy to report that I am 1cm dilated and 50% effaced. Which means, to those who didn't know this (like me before I got pregnant) that labor could happen tomorrow...or in three weeks....or a week past my due date. Pretty much, being dilated means not a whole lot at this point and most women begin to dilate within the month before labor. My sister was 2-3cm dilated for three weeks and then went over her due date!! So I'm not holding my breath that anything is about to happen but my doctor seemed pretty confidant that my body will go into labor naturally and not need an induction. YAY.

She did, however, give me some options. I asked her how long she lets patients go past their due date before inducing labor (a very important question because I sure as hell don't want to be waiting until I'm 42 weeks to meet my little one). She reassured me by telling me that she never lets her patients go beyond 41 weeks because "the placenta might start conking out"---her words.

She also gave me the option of scheduling an induction for a day she would be on-call in the labor and delivery unit, either the 19th (3 days before DD) or the 24th (2 days after DD). I have to say it was really REALLY tempting to hear that I could be induced a few days before my due date, especially since everyone tells me that I will be late because its my first pregnancy. However, inductions come with all sorts of other complications, including the increased risk of c-section, as well as a more painful experience (so I've heard). So after talking with Matt, we decided that at our next appointment we will go ahead and plan an induction for the 24th, but hope that things progress naturally before then. This may not be everyone's way to go, but we have a few reasons why we like this idea:
1. both of our lucky numbers is 24....a random piece of trivia we discovered about each other when we first met.
2. she will be born well before Thanksgiving (this year)
3. She will not share a birthday with any of the MANY family and friends we have that have November birthdays
4. If I get to my due date with no baby, at least there will be a light at the end of the tunnel
5. She will be a Sagittarius
6. Our doctor will be able to deliver her for sure....and we love our doctor

So there you have it. Baby girl Pontius will be born by the 25th of November!!

XOXO 

Lisa

35 Weeks

How Far Along: 35 weeks, 5 days

How Long To Go: 4 weeks, 2 days

Weight Gain: -.4lbs
Total Weight Gain: 17lbs
Weight: 136.8lbs

Belly Button: Total outie

Stretch Marks: none

Sleep: I was prescribed Ambien 5mg at my last doctors appointment and I am in heaven. I can actually sleep!!

Best Moment This Week: Just finished buying and ordering EVERYTHING we need for the baby's arrival, including ordering my breast pump so I feel a lot more in control and prepared than I did. We also got our stroller for 60% off after a bunch of sales and discounts...a super satisfying moment!

Nausea: None at all

Craving: Pho

Miss Anything: being comfortable

Movement: Her movements feel like drags and they hurt. I described it to Matt as the feeling you get when you're running and you get a cramp in your side.

Gender: bouncing baby girl

Symptoms: Holy shit these next four weeks are going to drag if I remain in this amount of pain. I've got bad SI joint pain, sciatica, and last night began the carpal tunnel that radiated pain through all the joints on my right side of my body: my hand, fingers, wrist, elbow, shoulder and neck all the way to my back, hip, knee and ankle. Today is a bit better, but I'm sure it will get worse later since all my symptoms get worse at night. Also working it's magic today is my debilitating sciatica. I am in bed with my feet up because every step shoots pain up my feet and into my back. This past week I have also started to feel feverish/sick every evening starting around 3pm.

Wedding Ring: Still on! there's a coupe of moments of swelling here and there but it's on for most of the day every day.

Looking Forward To: Getting all the rest of our stuff in the mail from Amazon.com.

Maternity Clothes: Just received my first nursing bra in the mail and I LOVE it already. It's from La Leche League and is meant to sleep in but I might wear it all the time. It's kind of like a v-neck sports bra and is not only super comfy, but it's kind of cute. I plan to see how much bigger my boobs get once my milk comes in adn then order a couple more of these. I also ordered some staples from H&M.com including a new set of pajamas, a pair of maternity black leggings (it's cold now!), a flowy long sleeve top that I should be able to wear and nurse in and still look cute and casual once baby arrives. I JUST discovered the maternity line at H&M and wish I had found it sooner.

Fruit: Canary Melon (5.5lb, 19-22 inches)

Weird Dreams This Week: Had a dream about preparing for Christmas last night....I think I'm a little ahead of myself lol

XOXO
Lisa