Wednesday, December 23, 2015

22 Weeks

This pregnancy seems to be going at rapid speed as i deal with more pressing issues. My adorable and precocious toddler Lyla has learned to walk and is now climbing, running, falling and zipping all over the place. Over the last few days she has also started teething and its a nightmare. I am pretty sure she is getting her 1-year molars and is absolutely miserable.

On the plus side, Matt and I did get away for our first weekend without the baby (and without any family obligations) since she was born.'s been even longer than that. I think the last time we got away just the two of us with no family members, no weddings, no holidays was when we went to Italy about two-ish years ago.

We went to Asheville, NC which is like a little hippy town in the mountains that is only about 4-hours away from Charleston. We ate, Matt drank, and we were merry. It was good to get away. We should do it more often but with the impending birth of our second child the opportunity seems to be slipping away from us. We don't expect another chance like that for the next two years.

Back to pregnancy news...I am getting bigger by the minute, my sciatica is also getting worse and baby boy is an active kicker. I haven't been able to get to the gym as much as I want to, nor as much as I did during my first pregnancy. I feel incredible out of shape, short of breath and exhausted. I just feel like I never gave my body enough of a break in between and that's probably the reality of it. I could only start bringing Lyla to the gym with me when she turned six months old and then I got pregnant again when she was about eight months old. I know I will get back into it when the boy is born but it just seems so far away.

Which brings me to my nerves. I am absolutely shake-in-my-boot terrified about having another baby with Lyla being so wild right now. I remember all the challenges we faced during Lyla's first year and I can't imagine how desperately helpless we are going to feel when there are two that demand my mind, body and attention. I am not excited to be breastfeeding again, which I'm sure makes me a bad mom but dear god it was so nice when Lyla started to take a bottle!

I want to do my best for both of these kids and I don't know how to do that. I am so in love with my daughter that I worry that her brother will just seem like an awful inconvenience for his first few months. These feelings will go away when I see him and get to know him, I hope. I didn't immediately fall in love with Lyla as a newborn either. I don't think I'm the biggest fan of the newborn phase. They're pretty useless. But now, even as Lyla enters into toddler-hood guns-blazing I am obsessed with her. Hopefully that happens with my second-born (everyone says it does).

I'll leave you with this bump photo:

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