Thursday, March 26, 2015

Postpartum Sex

This is a very personal topic, but it should be talked about. After all, sex is what got me in the predicament in the first place.

A good relationship cannot be sustained without intimacy. A lot of couples lessen the amount of sex they are having as D-day (delivery day) approaches due to several factors. A lot of women All women are uncomfortable towards the end, lugging an enormous bump around all day. There is also a good chance that the woman doesn't feel particularly sexy, after all if you aren't going for a monthly waxing the chances of your vagina being in perfect condition are slim to none. Not to mention the idea of sucking a dick for HIS pleasure or getting rammed from behind for HIS pleasure while you stew in discomfort is not particularly appealing. Even Matt and I, who had a very healthy sex life took a dip in the nookie department around 8 months in.

I vowed that I would not be the woman who denied my man sex ever. I said that when the baby came I would be right back to feeling great and wanting to get laid. with most things regarding this baby I was completely wrong. I was extremely unprepared for how taxing the physical recovery was going to be, how scared I would be for the first time postpartum, and how unpleasurable the entire experience would be.

You vagina has literally just gone through what feels like a grenade going off on the inside. There's trauma and stitches and the entire twat area is like a fucking war zone. Thankfully the good doctors insist upon no sex for 6 weeks, but you better believe at six week to the day my man was ready to get back to business.

I'm not going to lie...the first time was a failure. It hurt, I was as dry as the Sahara desert and I was convinced we were going to royally fuck up my insides. I pulled the plug on the whole endeavour about five thrusts in. With anything there was a definite learning curve. So try, try again we did.
We are now 4 months postpartum and sex has just started to be enjoyable again. Matt has been extremely patient with me, but I find that my sex drive just isn't where it used to be.

I don't know if it is the lack of sleep, the raging hormones or the fact that sex now needs to be quick (which equals less foreplay) and quiet (which is no fun for anyone), but sex after baby just isn't the same. I guess the reason I am sharing all this information is that this whole experience changes every part of your life. There is no going back to what things were before, there is only defining the new normal. We now have to take advantage of the time we do have to make an effort to be intimate. Me, as the woman, had to get through the first several uncomfortable bordering on painful first times having sex after baby in order to regain a vital part of our marriage.

I do believe it is vital to make sex a priority post baby....i have also never been more terrified of getting pregnant lol.


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